Name: Wednesday Friday Addams
Hobbies: Ballet, pyromania, raising spiders
Likes: The Bermuda Triangle; witchcraft; misandry
Dislikes: Smiling; team activities; other people
It’s October: the best month of the year. The days are still bright, but brilliantly chilly and serene. The ground is crispy with leaves. Spicy hot chocolates can be consumed with wanton abandon. Best of all, it’s time to pack away the silly, insubstantial, frolicking spirit of summer, and return to the comfort of autumnal coolness – bookishness, hibernation, stoicism. I love autumn – there’s no need to pretend anymore. Stay in every night. Grow a handsome fur on your legs, ladies. Wear black. Inky, sincere, abysmal black. You can’t go wrong with this look – it’s perfect for work and funerals. Ignore the hysterical self-help tropes of fulfilment and happiness that constantly surround us. Maybe true happiness is misanthropy and gin.
Wednesday Addams: Things You Will Need to Perfect the Look:
A willingness to make cutting remarks, insult people stylishly, and tear apart their hopes and dreams. Don’t be afraid. Be brave. The world needs your acid cruelties, to stop happy people from talking so much.
An intense, unfathomable apathy.
A really sharp white collar.
A vague feeling that Halloween is the only time you ever really fit in.
And maybe some of this: